Friday, December 19, 2008

December 19,
Wow has it been this long since my last writing? Let me fill you in. We are in Cedar City tonight staying in a butt ugly motel, but hey it is cheap and we’re leaving first thing in the morning (after the free continental breakfast of course) TEK are just not used to motel life, Kayla keeps asking where is the kitchen and why do we have to walk out of the bathroom to find the sink. I guess they’ve been spoiled from all of our condo styles. Now to fill you in. We are just heading back home from Southern California. We took TEK and my parents (who flew) to Disneyland. We were suppose to meet up with Natalie and her family, but the sunny was missing from Southern Calif and dumped several inches of snow in this area that is not equipped with snow plows, sanders etc to handle. It took them 7 hours from Primm, Nevada to go 45 miles into Fontana, CA wow. Anyways like always, we love Capistrano beach and our nice 2 bedroom 2 bath condo right on the beach. I took the carnation that I had laid on Keiths headstone (from the Angel of hope celebrations) and placed it in the waters of the Pacific ocean. It allows me to envision that his spirit is there within the waters of my favorite place. The kids played in the sand, searched tide pools, swam in the chilly swimming pool, enjoyed San Diego Zoo, and even 2 very wet but fun filled days in Disneyland. I said a prayer today as we were traveling home (first for safety) but second to thank my Father in Heaven for you, Keith. Very very slowly am I seeing a stronger woman than I was before appear. I have 18 plus years of schooling, and I have learned more these last 7 months than I have in my life on what really matters. I am more sympathetic and less worldly. Now don’t get me wrong, I still lack patience (my greatest weakness) but I didn’t ask for Heavenly Father to answer my question if there is another child… Keith exemplifies my life. I would like to be noble enough one day to hold this righteous little baby and thank him for this excruciating and difficult grieving process that I only would have learned through the loss of a child. I love you more and more each day similar to my other children. One day we will be together….one day hopefully far into the distance. For now, I will sleep in this dreary motel with my wonderful sweetheart, and TEK with Keith and Angel watching over us.

November 28, 2008

Well my favorite day of the year has come and gone with financial damage. We tried our best to stimulate the economy, but hey when you are frugal inside out, I’m sure we didn’t make even much of a dent. We are on the frontrunner going down to see the temple lights and it is packed. Again, I had to go through ‘the firsts’. I’ll never get to show my Keithy the temple square lights. I feel fortunate to know where he is and that truly he is in a better place, but I am and will always missing you baby. Until we meet again. Trevor is getting a bb gun for his birthday, Eric got a new bicycle today, and Kayla well she just gets all the girl stuff and that makes her good. I’m trying to go the extra mile and reach to Steve and make sure I am making his holidays good. I love him so much and he too has suffered a tremendous loss and I shouldn’t hamper on his difficulty of the season.

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