Aug 29, 2008
We’re heading to Island Park for a family reunion wish I could strap you in your car seat and come along with us. I have found much peace in taking Keith on these trips. Literally I sleep with his blanket and just he and I go to all of the beautiful places in the world in my dreams. It is our time and I picture Keith as a toddler. I spoke to a friend today about options of adoption. Keith was my last baby I held, and I don’t want to hold another baby, and I’m wondering (praying) if the Lord has in mind another child that is to come to our family through adoption. I think back to this saying that I got from a Mother who had a stillborn: The road I am on is my son’s gift to me. The least I can do as his Mother is to continue on this journey and see where it takes me. It is just one of many options Steve and I are looking (ok me more than Steve). Hey, congrats, I survived the first miserable week of school!!!!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Sept. 3, 2008
It seems whenever I go somewhere I have to get over the 'firsts'. It was the first trip to Yellowstone/Island Park w/o my baby Keith. It was hard watching my sisters all feed their babies and I just could hold the memories. I never thought I was so sentimental to the 'firsts'. But I guess I am. It was also hard this trip, because of my neighbor who lost her Mom and her baby boy in a horrific car accident coming home from Island Park. Even Steve who doesn't get very sentimental thought of that as we drove to and fro. My heart and soul go out to her and she too grieves over her Mom and baby boy Hudson.
We did have an enjoyable trip. Prior to Keith I was usually happy (naturally). Now I can become happy, but I have to work on it. Ok, I was a pessimist at times, but that has gotten worse. I love love love my TEK. I truly don't know what I would do without them. They keep me going. Kayla just loves her school. Trevor & Eric are thriving in their grades. We went on a family bike ride. It was just nice. I think I feel Keith and Angel when I am outdoors. They are in the breeze or the sun. They are with me, but just not physically and that hurts.
It seems whenever I go somewhere I have to get over the 'firsts'. It was the first trip to Yellowstone/Island Park w/o my baby Keith. It was hard watching my sisters all feed their babies and I just could hold the memories. I never thought I was so sentimental to the 'firsts'. But I guess I am. It was also hard this trip, because of my neighbor who lost her Mom and her baby boy in a horrific car accident coming home from Island Park. Even Steve who doesn't get very sentimental thought of that as we drove to and fro. My heart and soul go out to her and she too grieves over her Mom and baby boy Hudson.
We did have an enjoyable trip. Prior to Keith I was usually happy (naturally). Now I can become happy, but I have to work on it. Ok, I was a pessimist at times, but that has gotten worse. I love love love my TEK. I truly don't know what I would do without them. They keep me going. Kayla just loves her school. Trevor & Eric are thriving in their grades. We went on a family bike ride. It was just nice. I think I feel Keith and Angel when I am outdoors. They are in the breeze or the sun. They are with me, but just not physically and that hurts.
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